


Beware the Friendly Stranger (They're Not Having a Great Time Right Now And They Could Use a Smooch)

by orphan_account



Category: Salad Fingers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Headcanon, Just a drabble, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Salad Fingers, Other, Porn with Feelings, Pre-EVERYTHING, before anything in the actual series takes place, marjory is a real person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:46:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Pre-canon drabble based around my extremely convoluted headcanons about Andrew Hands and who they were before... whatever happened. It takes place in the Cold War era, which is contrived as hell but I really just wanted to dive into the little relationship I built around Andrew and Marjory.Marjory and Andrew stow away to a tiny shack at the edge of their town in an effort to avoid Andrew's venomous family. Andrew looks fantastic in a dress.
Relationships: Andrew Hands/Marjory Stewart-Baxter, Marjory Stewart-Baxter/Salad Fingers
Kudos: 14





	Beware the Friendly Stranger (They're Not Having a Great Time Right Now And They Could Use a Smooch)

“It’s not much,” Marjory muttered to herself as they crossed the threshold of the cottage. It was more of a shack than a cottage, barely furnished with a cooler in the corner, a shattered skylight, three windows covered in plywood, and a newly-made bed with clean sheets. “But it’ll work for what we need.” She stepped across the room, digging in the cooler. “I put sandwiches in here earlier today. It’s all prepared, and far enough so that we won’t-” She trailed off as she glanced back at Andrew, who was standing under the skylight and gazing around the room. They were illuminated by the pale moonlight that was filtering in, nearly glowing in the frilly white dress Marjory had lent them. “It’s perfect,” Andy muttered, looking directly at Marjory with the most genuine smile they had ever let her see. Marjory almost sobbed at the sight, her heart swelling when she studied the way their eyes wrinkled at the corners. “Andy, you’re beautiful,” she whispered.

Soft white pleats shifted around Andy as they flinched, the voice tucked into the back of their mind springing back to life. _What an offhanded compliment. You’re an ugly, stupid boy. Look at that face of hers, not a word of truth!_ For the first time in their life, they couldn’t believe the little voice. They studied Marjory’s face, drinking in the sincerity painted across it, and felt their legs turn to jelly. “Oh, Marjory,” they sniffled, bringing a finger up to gingerly swipe mascara-tinged tears from the corner of their eye. “You can’t be serious,” they tested, though they could tell beyond the shadow of a doubt that Marjory wasn’t lying. In response, Marjory walked over to Andy, pushing stray hair behind their ear. “I am dead serious. And you shouldn’t ever feel otherwise.” She drifted forward and pressed her lips against theirs, using her hands to guide them over until their knees hit the edge of the bed and they laid down, Marjory pressed against their side.

Andy smiled gently into the kiss; something that felt like a cold shower washing over their shoulders. Their dress was slipping off their shoulder, exposing their off-colour flesh to the cold air of the shack. Marjory made quick work trailing lipstick down their neck and covering their shoulder with a liberal peppering of wet kisses. Andy chuckled, their face bright red, using their free hand to wipe streaked mascara off their cheek. “M-Marjory, please, you’re teasing me,” they trailed off as Marjory nipped their collarbone delicately. She treated them like a precious object, hands running over scars and healing bones, feeling bruises and cuts to kiss. Andy was feeling foreign to the entire situation. Some part of them in the far corner of their mind was screaming out, sobbing and begging to be beaten to a pulp. _You don’t deserve any of this, you weak little failure. Look how pathetic you are, submitting to her!_ For once, Andy decided to ignore the voice. Marjory made them feel important and loved, and Andy finally felt like they could accept that - at least at the moment.

A leg slid - slow and careful as anything - between Andy’s thighs, brushing close to the growing heat. Involuntarily, Andy bucked up, curling their entire body up in a wave to come into contact with Marjory’s thigh. “Ch- _hah_ -cheeky,” they whispered before Marjory claimed their mouth in another long, sweet kiss. “Darling, please be a dear and hike up your skirt for me,” Marjory muttered against their lips, grinning as their breath hitched and stuttered, their hands shivering as they reached down to pull the long, flowing skirt and its thule petticoat up above their knees. “A bit more, if you don’t mind,” she crooned, tracing a hand up their exposed thigh and drawing gentle circles into the skin. “Can’t exactly touch you if you don’t.” They hurriedly pulled it higher, face practically _glowing_ red in the low light. “That’s it, baby.”

Marjory glanced down, grinning as she recognized her own underwear. She knew how much comfort it brought them simply to wear something so easily concealed. There was a rapidly growing wetness on the front, sticky to the touch, that delighted Marjory. She ran her hand up their length, planting a soft kiss on their neck when they choked out a tiny sob. Andy was already trembling from the contact, the dimness giving them an ethereal look while they ground up into Marjory’s waiting hand. “So good for me. Such a good little Andy,” Marjory crooned, drinking in the singsong moans she felt vibrating through Andy’s throat with her lips pressed up against their jugular. She dragged her hand lazily up to the waistband of their underwear, fiddling with the lace for a few unbearable moments, before pulling it down over Andy’s erection and watching it spring up eagerly from the corner of her eye. 

Andy cried out when Marjory wrapped her hand around their shaft, a sound loud enough to make Marjory stick a few fingers in their mouth to quiet them down. “Shh, love, you must be quieter. Go on, suck.” Andy complied with a muffled groan, closing their lips around Marjory’s fingers and sliding their tongue against them as Marjory started a rhythm with both hands, fucking in and out of their mouth and over the slit at the head of their throbbing want. Andy coughed and moaned deep in their throat, thrusting with Marjory’s hand. “M-Marth-Marj’ry…” Andy muttered around their mouthful. Marjory drank in Andy’s presence; admiring how the sweat had begun to bead up on their chest - the slick on their length catching the faint, pale moonlight from the skylight - the way their chest heaved up with their hips on the downstroke. Marjory shuddered at it all, pressing her own thighs together. “Alright baby,” she cooed, pulling her fingers from Andy’s mouth with a wet _pop_. “Spread your legs a bit more for me.”

Legs parted in a shameful display, Andy watched with wide, red eyes as Marjory situated herself between their legs. “I’m going to put a finger in you, sweetheart, so I’d like you to relax.” Marjory’s wet fingers graced across Andy’s hole, drawing a sharp gasp from the blushing damsel beneath her. “B-be gentle, alright? I-it’s very… sensitive…” Andy stuttered out, losing track of their sentence midway as the very tip of Marjory’s index finger dipped into them. “My…” Andy groaned in wonder, eyes losing focus as Marjory’s entire finger disappeared into them. Her hand was still working their shaft, squeezing a bit every time they twitched in her hand. The finger inside Andy was working its way in and out, painstakingly slow, brushing against a new part of Andy’s tender insides every time it re-entered. 

The most sinful sound Marjory had ever had the pleasure of hearing sprang from Andy’s throat, high and strained as she brushed close to a spongy spot within them. “Ohooh, oh my…” Andy’s hands flew to their face, parting slightly to aim a wide eye at Marjory, who was now beet red. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t you dare, Andy -” Marjory twisted her finger and curled it up into the spot once more, another whorish noise erupting from her dearest. “Don’t you dare apologize for that. My god, just tell me you’ll never let anyone hear that voice from you except me,” Marjory bent forward, leaving Andy’s length untended as she pulled their hands from their face. “My lord, you’re irresistible,” Marjory nipped at Andy’s jaw and captured their lips with hers in a sloppy kiss, smearing what little lipstick was left there across their cheek. Her tongue licked Andy’s bottom lip as they cried out again, Marjory’s pace quickening. “Y’think...” Marjory asked between kisses, “Y’think I could add another finger?”

“Ohhh yes, yes please,” Andy twisted their hips around, aiming right for the spot Marjory kept hitting. “God, please, I want more.” Marjory sat back, teasing her second finger around the ring of muscle and slipping it in with little effort. Her free hand went back to their erection, pumping it slowly as she scissored her fingers open and closed within Andy, who was biting the side of their hand to keep from yelling. “Marjory, I’m gonna-” Andy pleaded. Marjory let go of their shaft, earning her a delightfully plaintive whine and reached down to the painfully hot area between her legs. “Lord, Andy, you’re driving me absolutely mad,” she breathed, stroking herself in tandem with Andy. “If I could, I’d-” She cut herself off by mashing her lips against Andy’s jaw, bucking her hips forward in a pantomime. Andy’s broken cries were becoming more desperate and they slung their arms around her, digging their fingers into her back and driving the final nail into the coffin.

Marjory shuddered violently, stilling for a moment before riding her own high and biting down on Andy’s clavicle. Andy shouted, their hips snapping upward as her fingers crashed directly into the sensitive spot that drove Andy positively wild. White splattered against their chest, soiling the skirt as well as Marjory’s blouse, white-hot sparks filling Andy’s vision as they rolled frantically into Marjory’s relentless fingers. Andy could have sworn they saw their Great Provider at that moment, with every nerve snapping to attention at once and the blood rushing loud past their ears. All too soon, the fantastic sensation ended, leaving Andy wrecked and disheveled as they floated down from their cloud. Marjory’s knees locked and she fell into the bed next to her dearest, a hand directly over their heart. The annoying little voice that tried to discourage Andy from taking pleasure in anything had returned, but now it was a bit softer. _Look what you’ve done to the dress,_ it muttered weakly. _Clumsy._

**Author's Note:**

> i really, rrrreeeealllyyyy enjoyed writing this. if anyone happens upon it, i'd love input! i sincerely doubt anyone's scouring the salad fingers tag for porn, though. 
> 
> might add more exposition for my headcanons later! <3


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